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The Best Of YouWho are you, when beyond my sight?
I am no child, I understand the masks of society.
I know that people pretend to be those they are not.
I wear a mask myself occasionally,
When the situation requires it so.
Who are you, when you are with others?
When the lies are ripped away,
And secrets are lain bare for all to see,
Who will you be revealed to be?
As humans, we are not perfect.
We have been taught to hide our faults.
However, I do not wish to believe
I see nothing other than the best of you.
Losing YouIt was a few years ago
But I still remember you so well
Despite all this time in which I haven’t seen you
Your influence hasn’t changed a bit
You were the only one. The kindest, sweetest soul I ever had the honour of knowing
And yet I always felt I wasn’t worthy of your attention – your precious time, your precious words
Your gentle kindness
I wanted to spare you the mistake of knowing someone like me
A being so unworthy of your grace
So much so that I not only pushed you away
But I lost myself trying to lose you
You consumed all of my thoughts until none of my own remained
You only ever meant well, I understand that now
But your familiar figure had become intimidating
I was frightened, sure that I could never deserve one as wonderful as you
And I didn’t know what to do - I was so fragile at the time
So afraid to love, to trust, that all I did was hurt everything I touched
Myself and any who dared to care for me
Now I understand, so many years later, the r
GoneSo bright and full of energy
The girl was going to go far
Everyone had such high hopes for her
But not nearly as high as the girl herself desired
She was well aware of her talent
Of her potential, of her future
The cherished future she was denied
Snatched from her in an instant
Nothing left of who she used to be
Nothing left at all but broken pieces and memories
That will never be enough
I'll always protect youMy beloved
There is something I need to tell you
For I am no longer confident you are aware
And I need you to understand
Understand and accept my feelings for you
For I will always be here and I will always protect you
However there is only so long I can stay by your side
And I fear that my presence may be suffocating to you
Like a block of wood upon a fragile flame
My presence too strong, too dominating
To be comforting
To be helpful
But without the proper nourishment how can such a fragile flame survive?
It seems that no matter what I do
I can do nothing but hurt you
My love, hurting you is the last thing I wish to do
I don’t understand what I should do
I would die for you, if it would just make you happy
InspirationJust look around you,
With eyes untouched with bias.
I don’t want your rose tinted glasses,
Or your depression tinted ones.
Just your eyes - the ones you were born with.
Without the memories,
Or the expectations.
Look at this world, at the colours and the sounds.
Look at that girl, who is she behind the mask?
Look at the bird, where does it rest its head?
Who are you? Behind all the things you tell yourself?
We all have a voice.
We all have a story.
My inspiration comes in discovering myself and others.
And how we all fit into the world.
Night-timeAs I look up at the stars in the vast distant sky
I wonder what the dark night truly hides
Vampires and werewolves?
Hunters and murderers?
The stars are so bright, yet small and fragile when compared to the bright moon
And the beautiful moon itself, lost and forgotten in the strong sunlight
What are any of us within this world?
Am I simply forgotten when no longer in sight?
Like the delicate shards of light in the sky?
Lost until the darkness brings forth the strength in its light
What have I done wrong?What have I done wrong?
I’m only human
I’m not immune to emotion
Or the events going on around me
I will feel what I feel
Regardless of whether it is acceptable
Or the “appropriate” way for me to behave
I’m sorry that I can’t control my feelings
With the push of a button
I don’t choose what I feel
But I have never retaliated. I have never spoken out of anger
I have never got into a fight or an argument
But do you notice? Of course not
Because you’re in a bad mood
And need someone to blame
Family TiesIt was almost normal by now,
This painful routine we’ve had for many years now.
But that doesn’t make it ok
That doesn’t mean it hurts any less
I thought things might be different once I grew up
When I wasn’t a child anymore I thought I’d be strong enough to handle it
Years passed and nothing has changed
I’m still your toy to play with and abuse as you fancy
For how much longer must it stay this way?
The gash on my arm has not faded since the day, which you threw your wine bottle at me
It doesn’t hurt as much as the scars within my heart
I feel it won’t be long now before I am entirely covered by scars – what will become of me then?
With such thoughts circling my mind I entered into the “forbidden” room and removed the gun hidden within the closet as I have done many times.
This time however I didn’t simply stare at it.
I loaded the gun with the bullets kept on the other side of the room.
Gun in hand I went to face
togetherI'm not allowed to see him anymore
The doctors said he was hurting me
the police said he was a criminal
the public said he was mental
so why do i miss him so?
The last time i saw him
he was on the other end of a loaded gun
pointing the barrel at me, yelling and threatening me
i miss that
he used to come over to my house
late at night
drunk and angry about something or someone
he would always take that anger out on me
and i would let him. because i liked it when he hit me
at least this way, i had his attention
many years ago, long before i met him
i went to a field full of flowers
the colours were so bright and the butterflies were so beautiful
my mother had told me that butterflies were a symbol of change
of something beautiful to come
a few months ago he had told me that butterflies were also a symbol of death
of innocence that cannot last
an endless spiral of death and destruction
an eternity that was doomed to end
i believed him
He was as dangerous as the butterflies flutter, which
HatredI hate how you can smile still,
When I've forgotten how.
I hate how you can't see me fall,
When I am going down.
I hate how you can live,
While I'm stuck in the past.
I hate how you keep charging down,
The road you're on so fast.
I hate how you don't notice,
When I tell a lie.
I hate how you pretend,
You don't know when I cry.
I hate when I am hopeless,
When I have given up the fight.
I hate every time I see you,
When I'm beyond your sight.
I hate how you can move on;
I hate how you can choose.
But most of all I hate,
That I can't make myself hate you.
I love you.I am not myself these days;
I find myself, more and more,
in the fog of window panes and the
cold, misty morning air.
I am not myself these days;
I lose myself, more and more,
in the way light catches off
certain clouds of sunset: prisms.
What is different?
I love walks in the park,
clichéd as that may be,
and I enjoy the taste of the rain.
What else is different?
I am not willing, try as I might,
to accept or acknowledge that
the sins of my ancestors reflect in me.
Of course, this is all since I met you.
I wish, sometimes,
to feel less like a piano,
and more like a harpsichord that
only you know how to tune.
I dream, sometimes,
of what lies beneath,
and of why I can’t find
the reason for why
I love you.
AloneI will surrender to
I will depend on
I belong to
Only to the
Darkness and the
I am alone.<b>
Helpless HeartI wish I had the courage
To tell you how I really feel
Instead of admiring you from a distance
Trying to hide what's real
I've loved you since I first saw you
And it grows each time we speak
Although I'm sure you have no idea
Seeing you makes my knees go weak
It's hard to think when I'm around you
Because all I can do is stare
At your figure as you go through the motions
Totally oblivious to the fact that I'm there
I enjoy your conversation
And your laugh is music to my ears
I love to see you smile
Your beauty brings me to tears
When you touch me the feeling lingers
For hours after the fact
I find myself staring at my fingers
Trying to keep my mind in tact
I swear one day I'll be brave
And tell you how I feel
But as for now I'll yearn from a distance
Trying to hide what I know is real
A Lover's LongingI don't think I'll find peace
Until you're here with me
When my body can physically feel
What the Universe has made to be
Every time I hear your voice
I get a shiver up my spine
I giggle like a schoolgirl
Living out adolescence in its prime
I don't think I'll love another
Quite as much as I love you
Sheerly because we're best friends
And are alike in so much that we do
I hug my pillow at night
Wishing it were you instead
Crying the driest tears
That leave no stains upon my bed
I wish I were with you every day
That I may express my love for you
In a slightly differing sense
Than that which you are used to
like a leaf
swirling into the deep.
out of control.
Only you have the key.
Only you can save me.
It all lies in your hands.
Can you be that knight
that ends all of my fright?
I'm running out of light.
Once it turns night
my life will be gone.
Our friendships and laughs
will have meant nothing at all.
Will you dare try to save me?
Or just let me die and
-I am nothing-i am nothing
why do i try?
i never win,
just let me die.
perhaps i have,
i died inside.
yet still i hurt,
i cannnot hide.
sorrow finds me,
bleeding to death.
till my last breath.
i loath myself,
broken and weak.
its peace i seek.
-- Hatred --You push her down
Laughing as she falls
Walking away while she bleeds
Ignoring her cries of pain
And then when she needs you
The most in her entire life
You turn away from her
Her so-called best friend 'forever'
You should've realized
There was more behind that mask
How dare you call yourself
Her true friend
Confusion rips through her
As she tries to comprehend why
You've left her in this state
Cold and in a darkened room
Her breath catches every time
She sees you walking by her
Words want to come out
But you never give her the chance
Smothering her in silence
Locking her away in isolation
Leaving her with hatred
That only grows every day
Don't you know one day
All that hatred has to come out
Whether good or bad
You're the one to blame
As much as she hates herself
For letting you do this to her
She hates you more
For making her feel this way
It's all your fault
Whatever may happen to her
You're to blame
Can you accept that?
waiting for someone to confirm that my beliefs
are neither foolish or naive.
waiting for someone to agree with me that to
love and be loved is a terrifyingly beautiful thing,
which holds the power to both create and destroy.
waiting for someone to prove my fears wrong,
to prove that i too, am capable of being lovable
waiting for someone to show me what stardust
and moonbeams taste like after dark.
Waiting For YouI waited so long for you
And I will continue to wait
But there is only so long I can wait so patiently
You were always like that weren't you?
Always so quiet, you could be right behind me and I wouldn't even know
I spin around, half expecting to find your long blue scarf
And met only empty air
I bow down my head and choke down a sob
I know you wouldn't want to see me cry
I'll stay strong for you
And wait for the day where you will return to me
Return to my side, where you belong
Parenting for Sex AddictsThe half-day.
We are not those folks that need an occasion to try. And that’s what they call it, too. Trying. As if the very idea of it is taxing. It’s not taxing and we are not those people.
No. We do not go by some magical calendar. Schedules aren’t really our thing in general. That’d be too organized. Too stuffy. Too… I don’t know… too planned. And we’re not the type of people whom plan.
If we could—plan—our lives would be much different. I think. It’s hard to say because this is how we’ve always been.
Our very togetherness is a result of impulse. I’m almost certain that the amount of time it took us to decide to move in together was significantly shorter than the amount of time it took us to remember each other’s names. We might have had our first conversation moments after that first… what I mean to say is we didn’t plan. Because planning would have been much t
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More